im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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