woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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