I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
