I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
