i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me