He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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