tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
