Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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