She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
