All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
