Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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