Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
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it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.