the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
