hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
