handjob tips. give me some.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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