If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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