I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
