More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
