On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i think my cat just said my name.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
