I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
