I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
