so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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