I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
