Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
soo... how was my night?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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