So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
