I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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