My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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