where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think i peed on brittanys purse
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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