Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
