I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
