just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
