There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
