just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
