I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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