Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
