I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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