I cockslap morals
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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