I don't usually arrange sex via text message
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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