hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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