just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
