me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
