Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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