I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize