Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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