There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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