he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The uberlube is also flammable
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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