No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
