She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
