I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize