I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize