hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize