Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
