Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The ass gains better be worth it
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