I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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