I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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