and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
