I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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