Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize