I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
