Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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